Possible Personal Growth?
Dec. 21st, 2018 10:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hiddencait So I realized something today that I'm actually pretty proud of. I know I haven't mentioned it here, but there was some crazy job strife and search that hit this fall, and while I did manage to find a job, it's ... not going well. I've been super stressed and my bandwidth for things I usually do this year in fandom (Yuletide & Fandom Stocking in particular) have really suffered. I had to default on my second Yuletide claim and still am not convinced I did a decent job on my official assignment which I hate.
And treats for Yuletide or stories for Fandom Stocking? Just the thought is making me sick to my stomach bc I just don't think I have the time or energy left over from the day job.
But you know what finally occurred to me this morning? That I don't HAVE to do any of those things. If I don't have time to write fic and it's stressing me out - THEN I SHOULDN'T FORCE MYSELF TO WRITE FIC.
I swear this should be an easy thing to know, but man did it feel a little too much like a revelation. So yeah, my self care for the season is letting myself off the hook for things I know I am too stressed to do.
Instead, I'm going through Fandom Stocking and tossing in book & fic recs (which hopefully will get love for some of my writer faves), easy comfort recipes I know off the top of my head, and even offers of Tarot readings. Weirdly, I think I've already put fills in more stockings than ever, just because I took the pressure off and let myself do the "easy" fills that weren't stressing me out.
Is this personal growth? Cuz it almost feels like it LOL
And treats for Yuletide or stories for Fandom Stocking? Just the thought is making me sick to my stomach bc I just don't think I have the time or energy left over from the day job.
But you know what finally occurred to me this morning? That I don't HAVE to do any of those things. If I don't have time to write fic and it's stressing me out - THEN I SHOULDN'T FORCE MYSELF TO WRITE FIC.
I swear this should be an easy thing to know, but man did it feel a little too much like a revelation. So yeah, my self care for the season is letting myself off the hook for things I know I am too stressed to do.
Instead, I'm going through Fandom Stocking and tossing in book & fic recs (which hopefully will get love for some of my writer faves), easy comfort recipes I know off the top of my head, and even offers of Tarot readings. Weirdly, I think I've already put fills in more stockings than ever, just because I took the pressure off and let myself do the "easy" fills that weren't stressing me out.
Is this personal growth? Cuz it almost feels like it LOL
