Possible Personal Growth?

 So I realized something today that I'm actually pretty proud of. I know I haven't mentioned it here, but there was some crazy job strife and search that hit this fall, and while I did manage to find a job, it's ... not going well. I've been super stressed and my bandwidth for things I usually do this year in fandom (Yuletide & Fandom Stocking in particular) have really suffered. I had to default on my second Yuletide claim and still am not convinced I did a decent job on my official assignment which I hate. 

And treats for Yuletide or stories for Fandom Stocking? Just the thought is making me sick to my stomach bc I just don't think I have the time or energy left over from the day job.

But you know what finally occurred to me this morning? That I don't HAVE to do any of those things. If I don't have time to write fic and it's stressing me out - THEN I SHOULDN'T FORCE MYSELF TO WRITE FIC.

I swear this should be an easy thing to know, but man did it feel a little too much like a revelation. So yeah, my self care for the season is letting myself off the hook for things I know I am too stressed to do.

Instead, I'm going through Fandom Stocking and tossing in book & fic recs (which hopefully will get love for some of my writer faves), easy comfort recipes I know off the top of my head, and even offers of Tarot readings. Weirdly, I think I've already put fills in more stockings than ever, just because I took the pressure off and let myself do the "easy" fills that weren't stressing me out.

Is this personal growth? Cuz it almost feels like it LOL