Day 23 and Have Hit the First Wall

[hiddencait]

Well I knew it was going to happen and today out of nowhere it seems to be doing so.

I am officially questioning what the fuck I thought I was doing taking on a second job.

I'm totally exhausted mentally and physically (which I know is part of my 3 day diet thing, but the rest is decidedly work), frustrated because I'm almost out of things to do AGAIN and my boss isn't here cuz hey it's the weekend and she and her husband wanted to go hang out which totally makes sense but just makes me frustrated and kinda bummed.

It doesn't help that it's an utterly gorgeous day, and want so bad to be out on my back porch writing and hanging with puppies and just having a weekend.

I did the math and I'm on my 23rd work day in a row.

And that number will only get higher if I want to succeed and pay off my dept.

I know it's worth it. I KNOW it is. And I know I can do it.

But I'm having a hell of a time remembering that right now.

So can yall just help remind me please? Feeling awfully close to quitting and that just is not acceptable. Period. End of story.

Comments

[hiddencait.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* It is worth it; it's just hard to keep reminding myself of that lol.

And yeah, I really am thinking the person I'm replacing did fuck all.. because I'm finishing things in a fraction of the time that my boss seems to expect me to. And THAT'S part of why I'm running out of stuff. She'll give me a big stack of stuff, but she's expecting it to take me all day and I'm done before lunch. So... *shrug* I've actually been reading fic thus far while I scan, and considering I'm still scanning faster than expected, I doubt she's gonna say anything about it. I'm tempted to try to write, but I get so hyperfocused why I hit a flow state... I worry I actually would start to forget what I was working on that way.

I'm debating though. Today I brought my writing USB and am getting ready to open the original psychic soldier novel I've got with 50k of words. I haven't even looked at it since last nano so I think I'm gonna read on that here and see if I can keep going on the writing side too... We'll see how it goes!

And I try that, but my hands cramp up so freaking quickly when I'm writing long hand. I can barely make it through a 2-page letter without wincing.