Day 23 and Have Hit the First Wall

[hiddencait]

Well I knew it was going to happen and today out of nowhere it seems to be doing so.

I am officially questioning what the fuck I thought I was doing taking on a second job.

I'm totally exhausted mentally and physically (which I know is part of my 3 day diet thing, but the rest is decidedly work), frustrated because I'm almost out of things to do AGAIN and my boss isn't here cuz hey it's the weekend and she and her husband wanted to go hang out which totally makes sense but just makes me frustrated and kinda bummed.

It doesn't help that it's an utterly gorgeous day, and want so bad to be out on my back porch writing and hanging with puppies and just having a weekend.

I did the math and I'm on my 23rd work day in a row.

And that number will only get higher if I want to succeed and pay off my dept.

I know it's worth it. I KNOW it is. And I know I can do it.

But I'm having a hell of a time remembering that right now.

So can yall just help remind me please? Feeling awfully close to quitting and that just is not acceptable. Period. End of story.

Comments

[leanstein.livejournal.com]

HUGGLES YOU

*waves pompoms and puts jeremy renner in a box and sends him your way*

Saw Bourne Legacy again today and have attempted fic! :)

[hiddencait.livejournal.com]

*huggles back and eyes the box wickedly*

And whooooooooooo hoo! Can't wait to see said fic!

[whuffle.livejournal.com]

Make yourself a graph showing your current debt. Every day or two, or week, take half of the amount of money you make and deduct it from the total you owe and plot it out on the graph. Past the point of debt pay off, add a second plotted goal which is something you really want to do as a gift to yourself that you cannot do while still in debt. At the end of every month when you pay the actual debt, plot a second line on the chart that shows the actual amount you have left to pay off. The daily or weekly plot will keep you persistently plugging away because you will know without a doubt that THIS IS WORTH IT. The monthly one will keep you mindful of reality. And seeing yourself get continually closer to rewarding yourself for all of this work with something that you really want? Well, how that works is self-explanatory.

Consider also checking your credit score every six months (yes, you'll have to pay to do this more than once a year but it is usually worth it.) Because seeing your credit score improving is also a good reinforcement because as a homeowner, you KNOW how your credit score effects your interest rate when you want to re-finance your mortgage or get a loan.

*hugs*

As someone who is also paying down serious debts and has waited a hell of a lot longer to do so, I can say safely that yes, this really does work. And yes, it really is worth it. I'm currently within spitting distance of getting one of my credit cards down under the 5 figure mark for the first time in a decade. Yes. Really. It's 18 months of hard work. And it's completely worth it to see it because I know how far I've come in that 18 months and being able to see the end of this for the first time in 10 years is one hell of an incentive. The idea of actually having an extra $1200 per month at my disposal instead of needing it to pay debts? Wow is that a big carrot on the stick. With money like that, I could finally take my family on a real vacation. We could afford to have a second kid. We could pay off our mortgage faster. I could afford to expand my job search to potentially taking a 25-30 hour a week job and having more time with my kid and more time to make art.

Does hearing that help?

[hiddencait.livejournal.com]

I am at least seeing that. My boss is paying me weekly - I have online banking and am seeing it go straight into the savings or onto the CC respectively, and that definitely helps. It's just not a huge amount yet.

As to the credit score, that may definitely be something I look at cuz I know the CC is directly affecting that. Granted my credit score was seriously awesome before I bought the house, but seeing it get better can never hurt.

And yeah, that definitely helps and thank you for reminding me of this. It's hard because I am pretty young to be doing this or am at least compared to my mom (the only other person I know right now in person who is taking a second job just for debt and not living expenses) and my friends who think I'm crazy. I just... I see the honestly shitty financial situation my mom is now in after the divorce because she's still got some of Dad's debt and almost no savings because he was always certain she didn't need to. And I really REALLY don't want to reach her age and be in anything like a similar situation, ya know?

But yeah, that was definitely a lot of what I needed to hear. It is definitely worth it.. just hard.

I know it's going to take me at least 2 months to really settle physically and mentally into this schedule, I just hadn't expected to get hit with the feeling of "there's no way I can do this" quite YET ya know?

This calls for Rennervention.

[anuna-81.livejournal.com]

*hugs you* It's worth it and you're not crazy, and yoiu can do it, even though it's hard and we all love you.

Now something to make your day better.















Did you know that Clint channels his inner Natasha? No? here's proof:













*HUGS*

Re: This calls for Rennervention.

[hiddencait.livejournal.com]

OMG ALL THE LUV FOR THIS COMMENT! ALL OF IT!

Re: This calls for Rennervention.

[anuna-81.livejournal.com]

AND ALL THE LOVE FOR YOU, SWEETIE. *HUGS*

Re: This calls for Rennervention.

[triaden.livejournal.com]

*flails at the last two photos* As if I needed any more reason for the shippery goodness, that second one from the bottom where you know their fingers are touching it's just out of frame...

[alyse]

::hugs::

I know it's hard but it is worth it, especially if you've got a concrete goal to work towards. I second the graph chart, or maybe even a running total that you can update every time you've done an extra shift.

Also, if your boss hasn't given you anything to do, and you're sitting twiddling your thumbs having asked and failed to get extra work to tide you over, grab a piece of paper and write a drabble. I think it's justifiable if the reason you're running out of things to do is because you're either very efficient or your boss isn't :) I mean, I wouldn't advocate it on work time if there's stuff you can ask for, but I think it's better than doing nothing if you've tried as hard as you can and failed to get stuff to keep you busy.

This would be why I always have a notebook with me :) (lunchtime, train journeys, waiting for meals in a cafe are also good times to scribble :))

[hiddencait.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* It is worth it; it's just hard to keep reminding myself of that lol.

And yeah, I really am thinking the person I'm replacing did fuck all.. because I'm finishing things in a fraction of the time that my boss seems to expect me to. And THAT'S part of why I'm running out of stuff. She'll give me a big stack of stuff, but she's expecting it to take me all day and I'm done before lunch. So... *shrug* I've actually been reading fic thus far while I scan, and considering I'm still scanning faster than expected, I doubt she's gonna say anything about it. I'm tempted to try to write, but I get so hyperfocused why I hit a flow state... I worry I actually would start to forget what I was working on that way.

I'm debating though. Today I brought my writing USB and am getting ready to open the original psychic soldier novel I've got with 50k of words. I haven't even looked at it since last nano so I think I'm gonna read on that here and see if I can keep going on the writing side too... We'll see how it goes!

And I try that, but my hands cramp up so freaking quickly when I'm writing long hand. I can barely make it through a 2-page letter without wincing.

[urbancate.livejournal.com]

You can do it! You are stronger than you think. Trust me, I have been there. *hugs*

And trust that there will be a time when it all gets easier, when the universe will hand you an even bigger and better opportunity because your hard work has earned it.

[triaden.livejournal.com]

You, my dear, just need to hang on for another 7 days and I bet you'll feel a ton better! Think about it this way:

You have managed to work every day for 23 days in a row and you're still standing, your wrists aren't killing you, and you have coherent thought processes all the time!

This is a hump, brought on by the crankyness of the surrounding day and probably a little lady hormones. Which we know that you can conquer easily. :D

I love you girl! You can do this! Keep it up!

*snuggles* Look at pretties!

[triaden.livejournal.com]

Also, my pretty, of the icon variety, fails in comparison to the above pretties, which I did not see before I posted my comment. Shame on me. :P

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

You're doing brilliantly... just keep reminding yourself what debt-free will feel like....